Waiting

"I know what it is not to feel like your in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his" (P.S. I Love You).

That feeling of complete jealousy when you know he's hanging out with other girls--and actually enjoying himself. And you try to talk yourself out of being jealous... But it doesn't do any good. Knowing that he's moving on in his life... He's starting a new chapter--that you're not in. Knowing he doesn't trust in confiding in you anymore--he doesn't trust you to be there for him, and he's not there for you. When you feel like crying, he's not there to tell you an incredibly stupid joke that makes you smile. He says he misses the way you used to be, but you miss how he used to be too. You miss the simplicity of just being with each other--because now, it's playing a constant game. When you find someone else, and break their heart constantly because you always run back to him--even if it's just the thought of him. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone unexpectedly with the same "hey girl" he always used to send you. Waiting for him to look at you so that you can smile at him--even if he doesn't smile back. Waiting... always waiting.

I know I shouldn't, but I'm waiting for you. Waiting for you to want me back. Waiting for you to open up, and let me know how you feel. Waiting to be with you again. I'm waiting... And I think I'll be waiting for a while.